Category: Uncategorized

Sometimes I confuse myself

I love a thrill.

but sometimes Im just in it for the lesson. I mean Im not just using someone as a piece of ass at least right?

Im learning them. All of them& they’re letting me.

I care about you? yeah. Im actually interested otherwise I wouldn’t bother

Do I love you? Now thats a whole different animal.

To not think, that what you did was possible.

Its been a pattern your whole life. You run.

I’ve never met someone who starts over so much.

I would be a lot more hurt, had I not made it aware to you, and myself that you were capable of doing this. Some of the most impulsive human actions I’ve had the pleasure to experience…

&That sure as sh*t is saying a lot.

I don’t let myself get attached to what I know, is a temporary fixture.

“does anyone want this? he’s not coming back, and I let him grab what he wanted last week”

*birds chirping*

“SOMEONE TAKE THIS SHIT BEFORE I SET IT ON FIRE. comprende?”

*I just needed to get my mojo back*

Sometimes I just think I’m simply “being real” without thinking of how I would feel if someone said the same to me.

Although I would probably appreciate the truth. find it refreshing.

I cut deep. I cut with care though.

Its sharp, and it hurts.

Ask someone if if hasn’t paid off though?

Maybe Im going to hell for my outspoken thoughts, actions and opinions.

(I dont really believe in hell so its more of a metaphor)

We both know I love hard and fight hard. All I wanted was the best for you.

I know I only break my own heart. Thats not new.

But my darkness and my light gave you something you needed for yourself and your own life.. I know because you told me. For so many years. My broken heart is yours. Forever yours.

I knew I couldn’t stomach the things he has done in his past.

I cared for him, but just realizing (again) today when my mom asked me if I would answer the phone for my dad. Have “a conversation” with him after around 3 years?

I was raised with my dad. I lived with him off and on until I was 25.

After three years, I feel like I barely will recognize him. And I am nothing like I was when I last saw him. absolutely nothing, I know its going to make me uncomfortable. My mind won’t let me just forget. I can’t.

neither can he. Ive taken my ownership. I have been taking it all for my entire family, since I was a child.

When I think about your son.

I feel sad for him.

If I feel this bad about someone I idolized my whole life. Subconsciously still do.

If I feel scared and uncomfortable talking with him, I could never imagine having a conversation with a total stranger and have him call himself my father.

At my job I feel like I have 10+ little brothers, and although some of them “like older women”

Im very upfront about liking guys older than me, its just a thing…

Therefore most of the time I feel like an “older” sister.

So when I start dating the ripped, tattooed 38 year old.. you got me saying “Im too young for this” to a 40 year old baby mama…

What is this? now I feel like Im on Jerry Springer.

*bitch I ain’t got time for all that baggage*

I don’t know how I can have such bad anxiety and hate myself one moment, and the next have the biggest ego and think I’m the hottest shit in the room the next.

Like, zero chill..whatsoever..

I mean, at least Im aware of the lunacy of it all-

Ill never understand it though. I legit came out the womb like this, 29 years and Im just as lost as the rest of y’all.

Im a threat from my futon, (If I want to be) and don’t you forget it.