Category: city

Someone put a gun to my head and told me to take a night off from work just so I couldn’t have fun.

Im always a whiny little bitch when I don’t have as much fun as I think I should have.

It wasn’t NOT fun.

Good lord, my texts the next morning are worse than if I was drunk texting an ex.

We can start with the fact I have the tendency to be so outspoken with no emotional awareness for what I am saying.

Like, I don’t get my feelings hurt easy at all..

Its how I am. Adaptation is rough, so I kind of just learned it through certain life scenarios

I was so much more sensitive when I was younger, but so much better at acting like I was unbothered. Now if I get my feelings hurt…everyone within 10 feet will know.

Its not intentional, but Im always making grown men cry.

plus I pee in public like Im a dog and its a totally normal thing for a 30 year old woman to do.

Its not.

…I hate therapy intakes..

I barely slept last night so I was a raging bitch just at the idea of a therapy intake at 9 AM

Im glad I did it, because I really like her.

But that answer that made my lil wimpy ass cry

I guess it was TECHNICALLY normal from the outside.. I don’t remember it much.

then the reality just spewed out “I hated it. It was lonely and depressing. I would run away at night with my best friend”

We used to hide on the roof of this one building in Lexington center

We used to smoke the cigarettes I stole from my dad, drink whatever booze we hadn’t already totally watered down from her parents boujee liquor cabinet. We would watch the cars go by and laugh about stupid shit while our moms were on the phone with each other, worried where we were.

If I didn’t have the group of friends, I had. I wouldn’t have ever had a mental safe place.

even that wasn’t so safe. I stopped telling my own friends the guy I liked in middle school.

can never trust a bitch going through puberty that gets attention from a dude. especially under the influence.

Im even guilty.

But hopefully this means I have a new therapist.

the front desk totally doesn’t want to call me though, I called them half asleep with attitude saying “It was 9:46, she’s late. can I reschedule. Im only doing it so I don’t have to pay $75 for missing it”

He said no, so of course I had to start a debate.

“Well on Saturday the 2nd, the last therapist I had an intake with called out an hour before our appointment. Shouldn’t she pay me $75 dollars?”

Im such an asshole sometimes, then again he DID sign up to work at the desk of a mental health facility

Listen, Luna. My tiny Netherland dwarf, sweet skunk nugget, of love.. looks as cute as a button.

&she sure as shit is. She doesn’t like when her moms sad though. She always knows when Im crying.

My babygirl is also sassy like her mother though.

Shes a cultured bunny. She’s the Eminem of Rabbits.

She’s had a couple insane stepdads, roommates, etc. Don’t underestimate her

If this kid makes me cry on Thursday night. That would be a SUCCESS for him. because at this point I want to break his face, and taunting me isn’t gonna help his case.

Now I am even sending coworkers to rehab. Not just boyfriends.

I hurt my own heart while trying to help others.

The reality really sets in once they go.

You selfishly want them with you, but know that they can’t be…and its better than them not being with anyone, ever again.

I hope and try to promote help.. but then it’s always when the reality of them being gone sets in that my emotions go all over the place.

Its triggering to me, because of my past.

It is weird for it to be a friend/coworker this time, not a significant other. So I didn’t really expect to have the emotions I did.

(Borderline problems, I guess)

I’m gonna miss him. He helped me stay sane in a lot of ways I didn’t fully realize until today, also.

I hope he gets the help he needs. Because THAT IS what is important.

I just can’t help the emotions from crying, anger, I am in full on going, Virgo moon, hermit mode.

Im not talking about it with anyone anymore. I’ll get too emotional and I will get angry at people who shrug him off as if he’s not a loss to our workplace.

On drugs or not. He did his job. He was good at it. So when my other coworker starts to rub salt in my wound (he will) hes gonna need to watch the f*ck out.

I get such bad anxiety when I’m not in my own apartment or bed..

Its almost more nerve wracking to be around my own family than in a psych ward

It sucks to feel that way inside and I never thought that would be my reality.

I love the sound of the waves, the stars are beautiful but my eyes are full of tears, my nose is runny and I miss my bunny

I am so BEYOND glad this week is over today. I’ve officially almost been electrocuted to death. I got wasted and tried to fight assholes from New Jersey last night. I was ready to pick them up, all of my 5’2 self, toss them over my shoulder, walk them a few blocks and give them the full scenic experience of Boston Harbor. Your not gonna love that dirty water when your swimming in it. BELIEVE, YOU ME.

Mostly because some clueless chick from the middle of nowhere NH has no sense of city culture and her boyfriend barely gives her dick anymore apparently. (just quoting) so the second she saw a male in the city. She was like a cat in heat. But sis….your not in the middle of nowhere anymore. Your in Boston on a Friday night with streets covered in drunk people. Don’t cause fights just cause your clueless. You can “Fist pump with them right back to the Jersey Shore”

I would bet money she ends up even further up North in New Hampshire.

Then I felt sad and was so drunk. so since I was up the street from my work, already drinking. I went to my work to get a hug from my coworker Bri. but I fucking work at a bar and it was closing soon so I was taking shots and running around hugging everyone. then old man derek poured me a shot at the backbar and I started choking on it. luckily, I’m still a lovable drunk, even on the verge of a black out. (I would never go there on my night off if we weren’t like 30 minutes from closing already. its not a good look. ive seen some bad employee oopsies) then tonight I straight up almost jumped on a dude from my desk chair.

Don’t come in here like a crackhead, screaming and bitching like a psycho. The second he walked in I was already sick of his behavior. I was like “I don’t know who you think you’re talking to, but I’m not your mother and you’re not gonna speak to me like that im a 30 year old grown woman” and he says “I’m glad you’re not my mother” I told him “my kid wouldn’t talk like a trash bucket like you. I feel bad for the lady.”

He was being so rude to my coworker and my manager. Hella aggressive for no reason mostly just cause he didn’t wanna pay cover charge. then he gives me his card to pay for three people. Meanwhile, he’s still there running his mouth.

His two friends were calm. Then one of them started getting involved. and the other one was like completely fucking normal and was trying to make it peaceful… then the other ones saying “DONT TALK SHIT TO HIM” ….bro…he walked in talking shit. Whole thing was weird. We had one was acting as the brain cells for three kids combined. So, his calm friends were trying to get him in the bar before he got kicked out. Yet he was still yelling and talking shit to me and my coworkers.

While hes trying to go inside. My manager goes “just let him. we’ll kick him out in like 5 minutes” yet he keeps screaming “I PAID ALREADY” but everyone was already screaming so loud I was trying to say “NO ACTUALLY YOUR CARD WAS DECLINED TWICE” im like on a chair trying to shout over three coworkers, one normal dude and two lil shits.

Ive never been that mad before at work. my body was shaking. As they were getting taken out by like a few bouncers I screamed at the skinny white kid “YOU stop talking crap you skinny little pussy. even I could kick your ass tough guy. your a twig I’ll snap you over one knee”

My electric burn is getting worse and I don’t want to be a part of Fight Club anymore. A bitch can scrap, but I’d prefer to keep my smile on and composure. Lets not test the theory.

I still am the same as I always have been.

I grow with music though, not out of it.

And Im an indie music girl, I always have been.

Finding awesome new artists is a talent, I think, personally.

But who the fuck do I go to shows with if all my friends either listen to who we always have loved, or just whats on the radio?

It fuckin’ sucks.

I need to find a music junkie like myself so I can experience all the beauty live.

Listen, if I was a nepo baby. You bet your ass, I’d be out there signing record deals.