read – I have a lot of thoughts. Its a mess up there

Do I think it will last forever?

When I have the time to think about it enough…no. I don’t.

I think it’s a cycle that’s infinite for you.

And do I REALLY even care? Like I thought I did…or was supposed to?

At this point. Fuck. No.

The things you’ve done are almost completely unforgivable, and thats something thats taken a lot of time to grasp and took a lot of “thinking about” to accept.

I made a mistake, that I would never make again. &at the end of the day. I don’t care if you rise or fall. In fact, I kind of expect you to fall.

Who knows, maybe you’ll finally prove someone wrong about how rotten you are.

Yet, somehow I find that very hard to believe. Just digging younger and weaker as you get older and creepier.

Don’t wait until I can’t hear you

Although my meeting with my manager yesterday was like a long overdo therapy session that consisted of me carrying a mini moleskin full of my thoughts and concerns. (I also had the journal because I was afraid of the full moon and how it was going to effect the whole shindig)

I think I went a little too hard. Maybe.

But don’t run your mouth about me when I walk away then smile and play nice to my face. ..with me..your best bet is to say it to my face and lets sort it out..

I feel like yeah, some (most) people say that …and actually are too sensitive to hear it directly. I try to make it clear thats not me. I’m sorry if you didn’t catch the obnoxious hint, that is my presence, by now.

So when I hear someone is being fake to me, i’m not a total fan of it. It doesn’t necessarily make me feel bad about myself, it just makes me annoyed..and thats basically it.

Theres only so much shade and shit talk you can toss around before it gets back to that person, when that happens. You can’t expect the person who was being nice to your face and behind your back to HAVE your back.

no.nope.nothanks.

that ship has since sailed.

killing three birds with one moleskin mofo’s