Category: pattern

Don’t wait until I can’t hear you

Although my meeting with my manager yesterday was like a long overdo therapy session that consisted of me carrying a mini moleskin full of my thoughts and concerns. (I also had the journal because I was afraid of the full moon and how it was going to effect the whole shindig)

I think I went a little too hard. Maybe.

But don’t run your mouth about me when I walk away then smile and play nice to my face. ..with me..your best bet is to say it to my face and lets sort it out..

I feel like yeah, some (most) people say that …and actually are too sensitive to hear it directly. I try to make it clear thats not me. I’m sorry if you didn’t catch the obnoxious hint, that is my presence, by now.

So when I hear someone is being fake to me, i’m not a total fan of it. It doesn’t necessarily make me feel bad about myself, it just makes me annoyed..and thats basically it.

Theres only so much shade and shit talk you can toss around before it gets back to that person, when that happens. You can’t expect the person who was being nice to your face and behind your back to HAVE your back.

no.nope.nothanks.

that ship has since sailed.

killing three birds with one moleskin mofo’s

Boys & Girls

Tonight was funny. Since I work at the front desk full-time, I came in at 2 PM and my supervisor is the only one with me until 6 PM, then my favorite coworker comes in. So I felt like I was just staring at the clock for hours. Even when he came in, I just could not wait for her to leave.

I always have way more fun when the supervisors leave the building, except the general manager, I have the hots for him.

My favorite coworker is so good at sarcasm and a straight face…plus the damn mask. I’m pathetically gullible.

One day I was bitching about someone micro managing me over my damn shoulder when I didn’t need help.

A few hours later he comes over and starts doing that…so after I finished with the person I looked over at him all pissy. He started smiling and then I understood. He’s a crafty one

Then today, I texted him before he came in just to warn him about Misses know it all. Just saying that I couldn’t wait for him to get in, because I was kind of losing my mind with her. Starting to get wicked annoyed.

Finally she left so I started pulling the same shit, I was mimicking her actions on the computer so perfectly.

“Yeah, yeah…so your gonna wanna ummmm yeah, click this..then ummm”

OH MY.

It’s too comical

It always ends usually with a good night. Plus, my coworker that was injured came in and he was talking to us about dating apps, and the struggle. Which I know all about. So I gave up on them obviously and I’m kicked off about all of them. He wants to get rid of his too.

He’s really handsome. Like when I say handsome, almost drop dead gorgeous beautiful. But he was talking about how bad he is with getting girls, or understanding if they like him. He said he never really noticed when a girl liked him, and he would find out way later. Wondering why they didn’t go up to him, I told him it’s the same reason he didn’t go up to anyone and do that. If you don’t try you’ll never know. I’m such a goober when it comes to dating advice. I mean, honestly though, he’s so fucking good looking that he has the right to be picky if he wanted.

Such a sweet kid though. Before we reopened, it used to be me him, and the other guy that was upfront with me tonight so it was almost like Larry, Moe and Curly reunited.

This fucker that works in facilities who has been pissing me off so much lately, always comes up and changes the music….When I literally created a playlist and personally put in music that I knew he liked into the playlist. Then he turns on a radio station with half the music that’s already in my fucking playlist which is on the speakers currently.

I already had told them both on different days that I couldn’t stand when he does that. So when he was doing it I had a bitchy face on, and my other two doods were staring at me with smiles on their face because they knew I was not feeling it. Then he leaves, and we decide to put on like the Jonas brothers. For a reason that I’m not gonna get into. Ironic purposes

He sent the front desk a message on our little slack/messaging system with a sad face emoji with headphone emoji next to it.

When people do that, we can reply with emoji’s or like lil gifs. So we didn’t know which one to do, I deep down was wanting to do the middle finger, but instead we just did this little bird gif that’s dancing.

My life be like oOoOOoOooOoh aaaAaaah

I guess my life kind of revolves around work at this point.

I truly don’t mind it though. I really like to work. I always have.

I’m like my mother, she would never want to be a stay at home mom. And I don’t think I ever would either. Although I used to think it seemed nice, I’ve seen many. My mom always worked full-time. Her sisters worked part time jobs. I think it’s good to have at least something to do besides making your family and your home life everything. Then you have no other life outside that. I grew up in a really rich town, I’ve dated guys who had money and stay at home moms. What do you think dad’s out doing?

I’m not trying to be harsh, but it’s a reality I’ve seen so many times. Having a family and children will fulfill me in a lot of ways. I deep down know, I would need an outside activity or obligation, ways to socialize and continue to live a normal life.

Stay at home moms have way too much time on their hands. Those are the Karen’s of the world, and they are the ones that will talk shit about middle schoolers with their daughters.

No…Not try to give them advice, maybe call them homely?

I’ve seen some pretty insane stuff.

The only time my mom ever got involved with teenage girls was when my best friend was jumped freshman year of high school. We had to carry her to my moms car.

My mom knew the girls that were around there, for once I didn’t care that she was going to do something that could be embarrassing. She went out there, asked them if their mothers knew that they were out here acting like animals?

It was a bad bitch move. Moral of the story. I’m turning into my mother. I don’t mind it either

We won’t tolerate bullshit, we will tell you the truth. But we also we will love you more than anyone you know, we will take care of you, we can have empathy for anyone.

My mother is my favorite person.

She is everything I want to be. And it makes me feel really good to know that that’s how I think now.

I’m so thankful that I had her. I’m going to make sure she knows that. I remember a time I wanted to be nothing like her. I was a delusional, know it all, angry young kid.

Tragically shitty quality picture. Oh well though

It will set you free

That’s one thing I’m actually good at. I’m not good at many things.

I’m a music junkie. I have been my entire life.

It sounds so cliché and annoying. It pisses me off even to say it, but music did save my life and continues to everyday, probably.

I’ll always remember myself in middle school. Those were terrible years of my life…it kinda set my youth up for failure. Derp.

I didn’t really trust many people at that point in my life. Probably two. My best friend at the time, and my ex-boyfriend.

I started to form insomnia and really bad anxiety, and I would stay up really late at night on my computer. I would sit on the computer for hours and hours exploring random music and finding new stuff to fulfill me.

I would make old-school mix CDs

(I kinda feel bad for the kids these days who can’t experience that)

All the music my friends, siblings/cousins listened to, was introduced by me. I don’t know why people make that sound like a snobby thing though….It’s one of the only things I’m good at, can’t we just like consider it a sport?

The real point is though, it spoke to me. Always has. In ways humans couldn’t at that point especially. When I need it it’s always there. It

made me feel… understood. It was like a friend.

(it does run in my genetics. But the way I love music is unexplainable. I couldn’t get to the point of it. I’ve been a walking jukebox my whole life)

Everyone listen to music. It makes the world go round. And maybe it could save your life if you give it a chance

Talking shit vs. Venting

I explained the difference to my co-worker tonight.

Because we do talk a lot about each other at my job if we get annoyed. We’re all gonna get on each others nerves, so for me to sit here and be like well I like *you, you and you* so I’ll never speak about you behind your back would be bullshit. I always emphasize how I really adore the person, but this thing they are doing is getting to me.

Talking shit would be more like “what a goddamn lazy twinkle twat, who smells like rotting milk all the time”

(Idk, winged that one fast. judge away)

Getting a lil irked with someone you like and enjoy being around is a thing. We’re only human.

BUT. Talking shit IS, going around telling my co workers that I’m not capable of doing the job I was hired for….simply because you went on the same interview and didn’t get it. Blame it on the other chick who got hired and never came back after covid. Smh.

If I am always nice to you, don’t be running your mouth. Because now I’m not letting you come up front and put on your lame, “trendy” hipster, indie rock music. And I will pretend I don’t know how to check you in or take your temp. when you walk in the building. Everyone’s on an ego trip since my two supervisors left. I love Meg, who’s the new one (she’s the one I was venting to) but these other little twerps are starting to get on my nerves.

Cause sweetie, I’m not venting about you anymore. I’m talking shit.

stay. in. your. lane

It’s pretty wild

How fast I go from caring WAYY too much.. to honestly not really caring at all.

I’ve always weirdly been that way. It’s how I used to trick psychiatrists and therapists I was a changed kid.

*See guys, look how long it took me to realize I have to act like a saint for just a month after acting like a little lunatic for 8 months*

But now I’m realizing it’s always kinda pertained to a lot of other random situations in my life. The way my personality is I suppose.

I’m all in. until I’m all out.

There’s no middle with me. The middle is confusing. Usually messy also. I don’t care for it.